i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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