Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
