Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Its about making memories worth repressing
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
