He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
