And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
im six kinds of drunk right now
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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