How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My ass is underappreciated
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
