is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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