I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
