Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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