it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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