we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
