Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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