No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
