i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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