As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
