We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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