Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
