found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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