Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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