I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
