i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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