Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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