Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I have fence marks all over my body
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
