so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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