hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
