i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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