We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
