But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
