I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize