Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
