Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
