i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
