As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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