I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
