If that was your dad, he is hot
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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