If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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