We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
