At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize