I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
