There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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