I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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