No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I think my moral compass just broke
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