So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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