I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I don't think brook has ever known best
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
