Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
