thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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