I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
