I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
