What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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