PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
