wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Your cock deserves a montage
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
