your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
