I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
