our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
