if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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