Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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