I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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