Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
