White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
