There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
