either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
