two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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