I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
did i just pee glitter
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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