1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i already hear my dad disowning me
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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