The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
