So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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