omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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