I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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