literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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