i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You've changed since you got that strap on
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
