You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you traded sex for a burrito?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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