I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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