he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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