Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
