the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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