every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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