So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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