I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
