So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
