i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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